Doug's Words of Wisdom

• A Hippo can't run, but he never needs to.
• There are two kinds of beautiful, Karen beautiful and Pam beautiful. Find your Pam.
• Today I meet the sky and I asked him why this guy is blue. (Say it out loud, quickly)
• Ipods are a plague on society. When listening to your Ipod no one is impressed, no one wants to talk to you and if you get hit by a car you deserve it.
• Never send a "Thank you" email. If you are trying to be proper and polite email is not the way to go.
• When a task has been performed well we use the term "You nailed it", yet when a task has been performed poorly we say "You screwed that up". A screw is a superior method of fastening over a nail. These terms need to be switched.
• A chicken egg takes 21 days to hatch. No matter how many chickens you get it will still take 21 days. If you try to speed this up you will not like the results.
• The fax machine is a dead technology. Just accept that and stop wasting time. I can not figure out why so many people will prepare a document on their computer as well as a cover sheet then print them out walk to the printer then proceed to the fax machine dial the number and wait for the pages to feed through. If the document is in any way important you will then have to go back and make sure the fax went through. The person receiving the fax is now burdened with keeping track of the piece of paper is stead of being able to place it with the vast majority of their correspondence in their email archives. Email saves you time and it saves me time. No more faxes.