Death is inevitable yet so many are unprepared when it comes. There are some who worry about insignificant details like life insurance and wills and so forth. This if fine and dandy for your loved ones but what about the unknown masses that will pass by your grave. What will you say to them? If you leave this up to your grieving wife or children your grave stone may say something as meaningless as “Doug Allen, beloved husband and father”. No one will stop and read this. Considering the importance of this statement I urge everyone to take time now to decide what you want your final immortalizes words to be. Currently I have chosen the following, however it is continually being revised.
Here lies the festering body of Doug Allen, Super joker of Doom irregardless of what anyone says ish. While he died after being captured by a pack of ravenous Martians who where jealous of his incredibly comfortable rocker recliner and box set of the Godfather Trilogy, who then tied him up in the walking path of a hippo* he lived with no regret and killed with no remorse. May we all never forget his fateful words “A hippo can’t run, but he never needs too”.
*Actual cause of death to be added once it is known, although this was the most likely one I could think of.
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