For those of you who don't know, Doug is a avid milk drinker. I have never met anyone who loves milk more then Doug. What I didn't realize when I married Doug is that he comes with a whole set of "Milk Rules" I am not kidding. We have rules about our milk. If the rules are not followed then the milk becomes, "rotten, festering milk" and we cannot drink it.
Rules of Milk
1. No matter how inconvenient it may be, milk is the last item in the shopping cart.
2. Once the milk is in the shopping cart we are not allowed to stop and get anything else. Even if it is right on the way to the checkout line.
3. Depending on how long the line is we may have to go and switch for "new" milk.
4. Once the milk is in the car there are no stops on the way home, no matter how fast they may be.
5. Once we are home milk is the first thing out of the car. (Yes, even before James)
6. We do not buy milk at Smith's. It doesn't taste the same.
7. Milk goes directly in the fridge. It does not get set on the counter.
8. When using milk you take it out, pour what you need, and put it directly back in the fridge. Milk should never touch the counter.
9. If you take longer then 10 minutes to drink your milk you are scolded for wasting the milk and if you then finish the milk you are asked, "How can you drink that rotten, festering milk?"
10. If you are going to have multiple bowls of cereal you pour some milk over your cereal and some in a cup to use on your future bowls of cereal. No need to take the milk out of the fridge twice!
11. The last glass of milk from the carton is disgusting. But not as disgusting as it would be had we not followed the milk rules.
It has taken me some time to learn and follow all the rules correctly. Doug often finds me rolling my eyes at some of his rules. He then reminds me of rule #11. So I had to laugh when I went to the fridge one day and found these labels cut out from the box that the milk comes in and stuck in front of the milk in the fridge.
Rules of Milk
1. No matter how inconvenient it may be, milk is the last item in the shopping cart.
2. Once the milk is in the shopping cart we are not allowed to stop and get anything else. Even if it is right on the way to the checkout line.
3. Depending on how long the line is we may have to go and switch for "new" milk.
4. Once the milk is in the car there are no stops on the way home, no matter how fast they may be.
5. Once we are home milk is the first thing out of the car. (Yes, even before James)
6. We do not buy milk at Smith's. It doesn't taste the same.
7. Milk goes directly in the fridge. It does not get set on the counter.
8. When using milk you take it out, pour what you need, and put it directly back in the fridge. Milk should never touch the counter.
9. If you take longer then 10 minutes to drink your milk you are scolded for wasting the milk and if you then finish the milk you are asked, "How can you drink that rotten, festering milk?"
10. If you are going to have multiple bowls of cereal you pour some milk over your cereal and some in a cup to use on your future bowls of cereal. No need to take the milk out of the fridge twice!
11. The last glass of milk from the carton is disgusting. But not as disgusting as it would be had we not followed the milk rules.
It has taken me some time to learn and follow all the rules correctly. Doug often finds me rolling my eyes at some of his rules. He then reminds me of rule #11. So I had to laugh when I went to the fridge one day and found these labels cut out from the box that the milk comes in and stuck in front of the milk in the fridge.
7 comments:
I think that may be the funniest thing I have ever heard!It makes me think of Napoleon Dynamite.
I have to ask two questions:
What % of milk does Doug prefer?
And does he have an opinion on the argument that some milk enthusiasts recommend that in order to get the most health and taste benefits from milk, it should be whole milk from a cow that is range fed and the milk should not be pasteurized (apparently the pasteurization process breaks down many of the essential amino acids and proteins that milk contains which help the human body metabolize the milk resulting in energy and not fat being produced)? Personal I don't know where you buy whole-unpasteurized milk, unless you have your own cow, but I don't think I would be up to drinking it.
Usually Doug drinks 2% but since James has started drinking whole milk we have been drinking that. I think he actually prefers the whole milk. I think Doug would prefer getting the milk straight from the cow but it comes out warm. I don't think he has an opinion about pasteurized or unpasteurized. I think it would really depend on what tasted better.
You know that everyone has their little idiosyncrasies and that dad's theory is that they get worse with age.
About Raw - unpasteurized milk, it is illegal to sell it for human consumption so you buy it at the health food stores it will be labeled "not for human consumption" or "for animal only". Your dad and I were raised on raw milk and the last time we had some was in Idaho and Craig and Nancy's it's very creamy and rich.
That is hilarious... who knew Doug was so picky about milk. Of one thing he is right, milk that is left out just doesn't taste right. This is something that also drives me crazy.
I love this!!! I can tell when my milk has sat out for 5 min. I'm not quite as particular but can't stand the thought of the jug sitting out longer than a minute. I love to drink milk and since I moved to Utah I have made the wonderful discovery of Winder farms milk. I buy skim and it honestly tastes like all the 2% stuff I've ever bought at the grocery store. It is delivered (I love this fact) and I get a satisfaction of returning the containers and helping out the environment. It's a bit pricey but in my old age there are some things that I'm just willing to pay more for. I love that Doug has rules about it and reminds you of them if your not following them. Makes me smile!
Smith's milk is Meadow Gold milk. My friend's Dad works at Meadow Gold and he told me directly to buy the cheaper Smith's brand because it is the same as Meadow Gold, just with a different label. I think Doug has a psychological issue about milk.
Are there only rules about milk? Those are some pretty strict rules!
Post a Comment